September 29, 2008


Like all great things, it started as a whim. A group of 3 single men go on a trek and are accompanied by another man who changed status not long back. Meandering amidst green valleys aimlessly, one man realizes the need for an organization which works for the upliftment and betterment of people who are shunned by the society in many ways. The whim becomes a thought.. thought leads to some serious discussions and the discussions end up with the formation of the club.....
"Hopelessly Singles. Bangalore Chapter"!

The HSBC, as it is called, is a club which is open to all eligible single people. Oh yes, they should be hopeless too!

Sirish Chitrapu, the founder member and President of HSBC, in his thirties, says "I have been single all my life and I know how it feels. I think it is a great forum for all the hopelessly singles to come together and discuss ideas". The main theme of the club is to "find ways to drive away a girl inadvertently".
Subrahmanya aka Subbu, fast approaching Sirish, acts as the vice-president. He has one word to say about the club - "Naai thara"!
Nitin alias Bhatta, although still in his mid-twenties, is also hopeless and had no problems getting into the club.
Sreejith aka Jithu, having recently changed status, is not a member but is a senior consultant and is a constant source of ideas for the club, courtesy his vast experience.
Contrary to popular perceptions, the club is open for girls too. But if you are a girl, be warned that you might find yourself getting paired-up with an existing member of the club!

June 27, 2008

Someone please clap.

Watched two movies this week. "Mere Baap Pehle Aap" and "De Taali". Both absolute shits - the kind you'd expect me to go and watch :-).
The first one is bearable. The second one is a total fuck. I so badly wanted to run away during the interval. It was only my record of watching every movie in full that saved it. Yeah, yeah I have watched "Ram Gopal Varma ki Aag" fully, in one sitting. Someone please "de taali" for my perseverence.

June 4, 2008

Alternate profession?

I am piloting my MiG-500 on a busy street in Koramangala. A dame I am not much acquainted with is sitting behind me for the first time. I am trying to strike a conversation. The transcript is as follows:

Me: Hey, what do u do?
She: I am a fashion designer.
Me: Wow, thats cool!
She: (smiles) Hmmm.

(I am praying she doesn't put the same question to me. But 5 seconds later..)
She: What do you do?
Me: (sheepishly) I am into software.
She: (looking elsewhere, in a flat tone) how surprising.
Me: $#@$@#$@#$@#%

I need to change my profession. Or think of putting it in a different way to make it sound interesting.

May 22, 2008


It's been some time since I blogged. Life's been a li'l on the busier side. Not much time for anything.
Managed to get leave for a month and sneak into the North-East on my 500! (And you thought I was busy working :)) Ha, you earthlings!

March 14, 2008

My big fat wedding...

Tarsh started this. Tarsh is to be blamed for all that followed! Any credit can be given to me though...

The background:
For reasons unknown/forgotten/irrelevant, Tarsh put a status message saying "Bhatta getting married in March"... What started off as something that would simply startle others, turned out to be the best practical joke I've ever played. The target: Not one, not two, not three, but a dozen people!

Initially, when people asked me if it was true, I just played along. Some outright believed it, some had doubts, and others simply didn't. Sirish Chitrapu was the first to believe it, what a man! :D. One thing led to another and the plan began to take shape, slowly. My first task was to convince everybody that I was indeed getting married. So, at the next get-together, came up with a story that it was my grandma's wish that I get married! (grandma, forgive me, you would never do that). The story concocted was convincing enough, I should say. Acted very sober with all the people just because the wedding was not according to my wish! Well, some people bought the story there itself. Also, I began to disappear on weekends (used to go on treks) and missed get-togethers (too much pain I say) which helped things a lot.

My fiancee's details:
Name: Rashmi (dont know anyone by that name..)
Location: Mangalore
Pursuing her B.Sc right now.. planning to do her masters after the wedding.
Hasn't been on treks before.. hasn't been on rides before.. is a veggie...(wonder what will she do with me?)

Anyways... Sirish and Saurabh, concerned about me, gave a crash course on "what to do and how to do, post-wedding", with Saurabh suggesting that I don't get stingy, coz the cheaper condoms are not reliable :-). ROTFL! Had a really tough time keeping a straight face listening to the gyaan!

With almost everyone believing it now, Shenoy came up with an invitation card, which was a killer. It was the final nail. There was no way anyone could doubt the whole thing now. Her name, parents name, grandparents name... all concocted. The card was as authentic as a card can get, with all the fake names! Hats off man, Shenoy. Carefully planned the wedding to be on the 16th in Mangalore and the reception on the 13th in Bangalore, trying to cause least inconvenience to the people involved. Co-ordinated with Shyamoly to make sure nobody buys a gift and nobody books tickets in advance to go to Mangalore (I am soo kind-hearted).

With everything set, moi switched off my cell phone on the D-Day and was happy kicking some arses in my kickboxing class. The 'targets', all dressed up, reached the place to find nothing happening there at the hall! Bemused, not knowing what hit them, frantically tried to figure out what was happening. Sirish started calling up people left, right and centre... Pari had a li'l fight with the watchman saying a wedding was 'supposed' to happen! Someone called up the manager of the reception hall! lol..

Still unsure of what was happening around them, all gathered at Shyamoly's place (pre-planned, Shenoy and Shyamoly made sure everyone got to her place). About half an later, yours truly turns up, needless to say, to a grand reception!

Partners in crime:
Tarsh (started it all, then disappeared)
Shenoy (brilliant technical support with the killer card)
Shyamoly (lots of co-ordination, too many roles for her)
Moch (suggested we send the ppl off to some arbit reception hall)
and yours truly (more than a month of planning and execution).

The card that Shenoy came up with:

March 7, 2008


We all change for the ones we love... True. No debating that. "How often?" is the only question. I change 4-5 times a week, on an average.

February 8, 2008

Does anyone care?

"Breaking news" in one of India's leading news channels. Nothing more to say.

Click on the image to enlarge.

February 4, 2008


Last week at the MGA Hospital in Marathahalli:

Me (sounding groggy): Doc! Help... Sore throat.. finding it hard to even talk...
Doc (examining) : Dude, you might have to get admitted..
Me : Hehh? (did-i-hear-u-right kinda look from me)
Doc : The infection looks pretty bad.. I suggest u get admitted very soon..
Me : Are u cuckoo? Get admitted for a sore-throat???
Doc : Well.....
Me : Nothing doing.. Give me a few tablets.. If it doesn't get better within a coupla days, I'll come back and then decide about getting admitted.
Doc : Ok fine, here you go...

That was the last I saw of that doctor.

Well, the conversation was not exactly as mentioned above.. but the mood was something similar.

January 22, 2008

Lemme see :-)

Was wondering... what would have happened if Dennis Ritchie had named his newly developed language "P" instead of the now familiar "C"?? Mayhem, I tell you!
Yashwant Kanetkar, in his inimitable style, would have brought out a book titled "Let Us P" (together?). The moral police, never a dull moment in their life, would have breathed fire. A few effigies would have been burnt. A few buses would have been blown up. Women folk would have been embarrassed. Widespread protest.. unrest... carnage.. bandh calls in Kerala and West Bengal (yes, nowhere else)... Indian economy hit...
Smart guy, huh, Dennis Ritchie..
"Survey jana Sukhi No Bhavantu"

January 3, 2008


I get really bugged when someone comes to me and asks "What mileage does your bike give?"
Personal question you asking me, you sadistic moron!!
How would you respond if I ask you how much does your wife eat??

January 2, 2008

Dilbert rocks!

Here are some dilbert comic strips I really liked. Enjoy maaDi. you may have to click on the images to read them properly.

and this one is my personal favourite...

New Year revelry

Was on my way back to Bangalore on New Year's eve. Exactly 12 midnight I had entered Bangalore city limits (somewhere near Kengeri). Wrong place at the wrong time. New Year revelry was going on in full swing. On the road side. Rather, on the road. Damn it.
A few $#@$@#@s, drunk, were trying to stop every moving vehicle to 'wish' them happy new year. Add to that fireworks, on the road. How are people supposed to ply on the road then?? Oh, did I forget to mention that I had been riding without my clutch cable for the past 150 kms or so???? Anyone with a basic sense of automobile technology would acknowledge that its quite difficult to start and stop when there's no clutch cable. Somehow was managing to wade through the traffic and the revelers, when suddenly a rocket (firecracker, not the actual one) whizzed past, barely inches from me. For a minute, I was shaken. Remember, I couldn't stop my bike! (Well, not that if I were able to, I would have given the prankster a thumping).
When will people learn some basic common sense yaar? Enjoy maaDi during new years, but why on the road? Get drunk, but why trouble others unnecessarily??